Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Marital Rape against Men

Marital Rape against Men.

Rape is Rape. It is not a gender issue. But when a women do the rape (sex without mutual consent) we term it as a love, affections or it is her birth right to do the same against any men and if any men try to fight back or dear to dream of say the truth, the man will be termed as rapist instead of terming Victim of rape.



Rape is rape, regardless of the relationship between the rapist and the victim. It can be a total stranger; someone you recognise by sight, but have never really communicated with; someone you know superficially, a neighbor or a colleague; a friend, a Girl-friend or a former Girlfriend; a live-in partner, or a former partner; someone you are married to or have been married to in the past.


As per Rape law, any sex without mutual consent to be considered as “Rape” and surprisingly, the LAW assumes that the Victim of Rape is only a woman and men never face the “Rape”.


Rape is a very personal and intimate traumatic experience. Our experiences of and reactions to rape may differ widely, and although there are many similarities in the way that we feel about being the victim of rape, regardless of the relationship between us and the rapist, there are differences between stranger and intimate rape, and in this section we are trying to describe and offer an understanding of some of the specific problems regarding marital rape (or rape by an intimate) as opposed to stranger rape.


Please note that in this page we refer to wives and husbands, however, it can be understood to refer to all rapes perpetrated by an intimate. Also, we are only looking at rape and sexual assault on men, since this is by far the most common situation but never recognized by any Government or LAW makers, result we witness every year after marriage the Husbands are ending their life double than married wives as per Crime Bure report of India, 2005, though rape and sexual abuse also occur too frequently in same-sex relationships.

Historically, all cultures have had a concept of a spouses' conjugal right to sexual intercourse with each other to create a difference between a animale vs Human society and to stop the father less child. The proposition of Christian teaching influence in Western culture need be considered, in particular, St. Paul's teaching, "For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except perhaps by agreement for a set time, to devote yourselves to prayer" and the instituion of marrige formed.
But with the time , though the women rised their voice and made new law to shut the mouth of men and gained the whole sale free lincence to rape the husband as a wittness we wittness, even some feminist male hater minsiters say openlyin media that “It is the turn to suffer the men”, “do not trust men, trust condom”.. but still Indian men prefer to keep silence than object her comment openly.

· Different types of rape
Marital rape is generally sub-divided into three categories: those rapes, which involve a degree of violence, those that use enough force to control the victim, known as 'force-only' rapes, and sadistic rapes.

· Violent rape occurs, as the name suggests, when the abuser uses enough physical violence to cause injury to the victim (biteing, nailing, damage to private parts). Examples would include the wife punching his Husband or injuring him with her nail or teeth, as he is too tired after hard work in office and want some rest than a sex - the rape being part of a violent assault, or the violence being a part of the rape. Many abusers will also force their Husbands to submit to sexual acts after a physical assault, either to prove his forgiveness or to further intimidate and humiliate him - and if the Husband should refuse such an act, even the threat of further violence (or a previous experience!) will soon ensure him compliance.

· 'Force-only' rape is usually understood to include only enough force used on the part of the abuser to control or hold her husband in specific position, eg holding down the victim by his arms or wrists to prevent him defending himself or escaping. This form of rape is common where there is a larger contrast between the age difference and strength of abuser and victim, or in abusive relationships where physical violence is infrequent or non-existent (insofar as one does not categories sexual assault itself as a violent act). In most cases of 'force-only' rape, coercion plays a large part. The victim may also be so confused and numbed by constant emotional abuse, that he simply does not know how to act or react when sex is forced on him.

· Sadistic rape is sometimes also present. This tends to indicate that in addition to the rape itself, the victim is either forced to comply with or undergo deeds designed to further humiliate him. Examples of this would be the abuser/rapist force some porno movie to see to the victim, giving threat that she will go to her ex or new-boyfriend to get her sexual satisfactions, accusing husband good for nothing at bed, acting out a fantasy of torturer, or using repeated sex in spite the husband need rest or want to sleep as he have to go to office or work next day morning. Sadistic rape may or may not involve further violence. Some people consider buggery as a sadistic form of rape, since its effect on victim is often particularly humiliating.

It is difficult defining clear-cut lines between the different types of rape, since rape can involve any of the above or a combination of them. For instance, the rapist may use coercion tactics and enough force to control the victim initially, but then use increased violence if the victim struggles. Many victims of marital rape feel guilty for not having struggled more, or have been told that if they did not try to physically fight their abuser and thereby sustained injuries, that it is not 'real rape'. This can be extremely distressing and add to the trauma already experienced. What has to be remembered is that when you are living with your abuser, you are often very finely tuned to her, employing numerous coping mechanisms to limit the damage to yourself: you may realize either consciously or subconsciously that if you struggle, she is likely to get violent or take her anger out on you in other ways or abuse the child, ill treat your parents or relatives, make false police complain for Domestic Violence, do more and more economical abuse etc.


Other reasons a man may not fight back are so as not to disturb children sleeping nearby, thereby risking them witnessing the rape; shock or confusion at what is happening which paralyses him; and real concern for his abuser, which results in him not wanting to do anything which may harm or injure his rapist even to the determent of himself.

But the major reason is, if at all he tries to fight back, all the law and society will term him as “Rapist” than a Victim of “Rape”.


As per Rape LAW and under Domestic Violence Act, all the women born in Raja Harish Chandra family (never lie), and all the men born in Rapist family, even supreme court in a Judgment says, a women’s verbal statement is sufficient to term any TOM/DICK or Harry to Rapist , even without a medical examination, that the rape had been occurred or not.



The Unanswered Question:

Does Rape/Sexual harassment at Workplace or Home: Victim needs to be only a Woman??Does a Men Never face "Sexual Harassment at Workplace or home ", if we consider the same wording/action as per proposed Act by WCD?

It is another truth that even:

"The Law Commission in one of its Report dated March, 2000 had
recommended that laws relating to rape (Sec 375 IPC) be made gender
neutral.
It had deliberated upon widening the scope of offence under Sec 375 &
376 IPC, and also that it be made more comprehensive to bring it in tune
with current times.

But the recommendation was not accepted. why?

Sex or comment of sex, without mutual consent is termed as rape/sexual harassment as per LAW , then why it considered that men does not face the same situation?"
Can our Lawmaker will ever able to replace the word” Men/women” by the word “ person” and “husband/wife” word by the word “Spouse”?

Or

Continue to support the ideology/wisdom and action plan of:

“It is the turn to suffer the men” , “do not trust men, trust condom” ???


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Reference:

Marital Rape – A sabotage of Institute of Marriage: Study Report

If wife enjoys at night and next morning she will charge husband with marital rape; then how to judge between sex and rape ?

For the detail Study report Click here.

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